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This morning my wife and I are going to see our baby for the very first time… I think.
You see, we have our first of many appointments with the baby doctor and neither of us really knows what to expect from the exam or the ultrasound process.
Sure, we’ve been reading all the websites and books, but we haven’t really talked any of this through with anyone yet because, quite simply, I think we’re both afraid of what could happen. You see, my wife is only about eight weeks pregnant, which means she’s still in that stage where “things can go wrong.” Nature isn’t perfect.
All the books tells us that the first three months of pregnancy is a pretty tricky time for the little squirmy thing inside my wife. It has to attach itself and start sucking down nutrients and increase its own size a hundred times over, kind of like some sort of tiny squishy Godzilla.
And while my wife and I know what is going on from a scientific standpoint, I don’t think either of us has really come to terms with the idea that any of this is even remotely real. We’re sort of living in this strange state of casual denial where we’re both doing our very best to be somewhat distant from our little grape…err… walnut-sized baby right now.
But tomorrow all that will probably change. We’re obviously hoping we’ll be able to see something on the ultrasound and we’re obviously hoping everything is okay with my wife and the baby. We have no reason to think it isn’t at this point.
And even though I’ve never seen our baby and even though I still refer to the little piece of pink produce in my wife as an “It” I am beginning to worry. It’s not an awful sort of worry, but rather, a constant sort of concern and hope that everything goes okay. I noticed this concern a couple days ago, and it hasn’t really gone away since then.
I’m not entirely sure, but I’m beginning to think this type of worry is the sort of thing that only a parent can feel. It’s still a new feeling for me, but I’m sure I’ll get used it… At least, I think I’d better. Because assuming everything does go okay and our baby is born healthy and safe I have a feeling this worry will be with me for the rest of my life…
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2 Responses to “Hello! Is There Anybody in There?”
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Clare says:
Wait til the little walnut gets an F in spanish or tells you he is joining the Navy. You will never be free of worry now, congratulations! I really enjoy your writing very much.
February 17th, 2006 at 7:32 pm -
Tom Coffee says:
Heheh… Thanks for the kind words! If this baby turns out to be the sort of kid I was, I’m pretty sure my wife and I are going to have our hands full for years to come….