The Nintendo Wii has been released and sold out from just about every store on the planet already but that’s okay with me. I’m not one of these nuts who has days of free time to spend camped out on the sidewalk in front of some electronics store with a bunch of computer nerds and I don’t subscribe to the idea of dropping $1000 on a video game system just to have it “first” when I’ll be able to pick it up for $250 in two month’s time.
And even though I know I won’t be buying a Wii anytime soon, I still decided to look into what the local stores had to offer. Within a few miles of my house is a Wal-Mart and a K-Mart. I didn’t actually go to the stores, mind you, I did what any lazy American does: I checked their websites. First I surfed over to Wal-Mart’s website to see if they would have any information about the Wii and stocking policies and, of course, they didn’t.
The WWII – Economic Revenge, Japanese Style
Then I went to K-Mart’s website and figured out why Nintendo used the name Wii.
For those of you who don’t know K-Mart is a chain of stores which sell most of the same things that Wal-Mart does, except K-Mart purposely brushes their items with a layer of grime before selling them. Imagine walking into a Wal-Mart that is darker, dirtier, less organized, smellier and staffed by more senior and more mentally challenged people that any other Wal-Mart. Now multiply that by tenfold and you have the kind of retail Hell that most Americans call K-Mart. As bad as Wal-Mart is, K-Mart is always much worse. Anyway, both crappy retailers regularly carry cd and dvds and clothes made by Guatamalan toddlers and video games.
At the K-Mart website I typed “wii” into the search engine and instead of some super-cool new Japanese video game system, I got 12 different “WWII” (as in World War II) movies and video game titles! And, yes, K-Mart and its parent company, Sears, do actually carry Nintendo Wii items.
See, Wii appears the same as WII in some lousy search engines which is clearly Japan’s way of reminding the world, “Sure, you bombed us back to the stone age in World World II, but now who’s laughing as we dominate your children’s minds and control your economy with our clever economic revenge!”
This is an outrage! I won’t stand for it! I urge you all to temporarily boycott buying the Nintendo Wii and protest Japan’s clear and obvious revenge tactic on the United States! I suggest that this boycott should last just long enough to allow me to get my hands on one for myself and maybe a few extra units for selling on eBay once the hysteria dies down.
After all, that’s the American way.
Editor’s Note: Tom Coffee purposely stayed home this Saturday and Sunday, avoiding any temptation to actually try to find or buy a Wii. If he had actually bought one he’d then be faced with a horrible soul-splitting decision: would he side with his lazy, shiftless video-game playing nature and spend the next week with a plastic controller glued to his hands or would he side with his constant desire to make a quick buck with zero work and immediately eBay his new toy? Fortunately for him, that decision does not have to be made.