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Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer: “Microsoft is committed to spreading our You’reIn!”
REDMOND, WA - Inspired by the overnight success and impressive first week sales figures of Nintendo’s scatologically named gaming console the Wii (pronounced “wee”), Microsoft has announced that it will create an interactive XBOX 360 module that will allow a player to gyrate and pump his or her hips to move a player or objects on the screen. Microsoft says this new module will put you in the game itself and has decided to follow Nintendo’s innovative name convention by naming their new XBOX addition the “Microsoft You’reIn Game System.”
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer exclaimed widly in an interview, “Why settle for just waving your arms around with Nintendo’s unit? With our new system you’ll move your whole body! Already players are telling us that they can’t wait to get a taste of our You’reIn!”
The Nintendo Wii game controller is already being praised by critics because players can move the controllers through the air to play games, not just hit buttons. The You’reIn Gaming System will not only track your movement, but also “learn” from how you interact. Microsoft is calling this ability Artificial Learning (AL) and it is a key component of the You’reIn gaming system. This You’reIn module will be a white vertical box that will sit on the floor in front of your television and is tenatively named the Microsoft You’reIn-AL.
Sony CEO Harold Stringer: “Why Wii when you can play with your Pee Pee Pee!”
“I forsee a day in the next year when a Microsoft You’reIn-AL is in every living room and people will want to stop using their Wiis,” screamed Ballmer in a later phone interview. Critics maintain that Microsoft’s You’reIn is just emulating Nintendo’s Wii. Ballmer replied by talking about the future, “You’reIn is just the first step! It’s our ‘number one’ product! In 2008 we should be ready to start shipping our number two which we call our Player Object Observatory Package (POOP). We think gamers will eat it up!”
Sony’s video game unit has also been paying attention to the Nintendo Wii’s reception. Only two days earlier Sony released its Playstation 3 for double the price of the Nintendo Wii. The Playstation 3 also allows some player movement with its SIXAXIS wireless controllers. And though the Playstation 3 just debuted, Sony is arguably trying to ride the Wii naming trend.
Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata: “You guys are Wiitarded!”
Sony CEO Harold Stringer announced in an interview that by mid-December American audiences should begin seeing advertisements aimed directly at Nintendo. Sony is hoping gamers will begin calling the Playstation 3 the “Pee Three” with it’s commercial tagline being, “Why settle for a Wii when you really want to Pee?”
When told of Microsoft and Sony’s plans Nintendo’s CEO Iwata Satoru said through an interpreter: “What a crock of sh_t…”
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One Response to “Microsoft, Sony Inspired by Nintendo Wii’s Success”
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Wiitarded Again - Spilling Coffee with Humorist Tom Coffee says:
[…] Nintendo has basically created an entirely new underground market, never before seen in video game history. Despite Microsoft and Sony’s best efforts at fighting the Wii, they have yet to create the frenzy that Nintendo has. For a solid year Nintendo Wii’s have been selling for retail price and higher on the black market known as eBay, and when the Christmas season rolls around all logic and sanity fly out the window when it comes to satisfying the wishes of your offspring. […]
November 26th, 2007 at 9:47 pm