I am the reason reason your child will be crying this Christmas day.
Your child. My fault.
I’ve had a Wii of my own for about a year, but I’m just as desperate for a Wii as all of you bad parents out there who haven’t been able to fulfill your child’s every fantasy and given the gift of a Nintendo Wii. And I don’t want just one more Nintendo Wii, I want a dozen more (as long as its before December 23rd or so).
Why would a 35 year old nerd with a toddler son who hasn’t even seen TV, much less video games want more than one video game? I could say I want to get one for my 12 year old niece, but the truth of the matter is that I’m just greedy and I want to sell it to desperate people for a huge profit.
Nintendo has basically created an entirely new underground market, never before seen in video game history. Despite Microsoft and Sony’s best efforts at fighting the Wii, they have yet to create the frenzy that Nintendo has. For a solid year Nintendo Wii’s have been selling for retail price and higher on the black market known as eBay, and when the Christmas season rolls around all logic and sanity fly out the window when it comes to satisfying the wishes of your offspring.
But you won’t see me camping out on the sidewalk in front of Best Buy for three days and you won’t see me scouting out Target’s parking lot on weeknights to see if delivery trucks are bringing in any surprise shipments. That’s all for losers. And, besides, I did that for most of December last year.
Nope, this year I’m using every online tool available to me. As I write this I have a website up that is constantly checking for Wii availability, I have my cell phone ready for instant text messages, I have Outlook open and checking for any email updates and I have at least three other desktop PC items that will blink or flash or bing the moment a Wii is for sale for retail price anywhere on the internet. When a Wii does become available I’ll either immediately be able to buy one or I’ll be startled to death and die of a heart attack.
I’ve considered selling my used Wii on eBay this year and just taking the profit, knowing that I’ll eventually be able to buy a Wii again for the retail price come March. I might even lick my Wii and THEN sell it on eBay, just to make myself feel even more powerful.
I am proud of my ability to capture a Wii for my family last year when so many went hungry. I often hold it up as a trophy and sometimes parade around the neighborhood with my Wii in my hand, showing the world what kind of man I really am.
My name is Tom Coffee. I am hunting Wii.
Or is the Wii hunting me?
2 Responses to “Wiitarded Again”
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CaffiNation Paul says:
You greedy bastard…
The wife and I only recently decided we wanted a wii of our own. I’ve had the 360 for a while now and it is awesome but a wii would be nice,m and all told both systems still cost less than a PS3. So I happened upon a Target with people lining up a couple of weeks ago. I stood in the line just in case there was food at the end of it… no food only wii. Which was alright but i still wanted some pancakes.
So long story short a couple of weekends hunting in november is worth more than a couple of weekend mornings freezing in december.
And I’m sure baby coffee will get a hold of the controller before long. the other weekend i caught Paul running away with my cordless drill(no bit), so I think video games might be a be safer alt.
As always good stuff Tom
November 27th, 2007 at 1:34 pm -
Matthew says:
Well, I finally did it because of your blog. lol… It’s way better than my 360