I Got An iPhone Despite My Bad Apple Store Experience

I suspect they are building snowmen in Hell at the moment because I had a really bad Apple Store experience.

You see, I decided to get an iPhone.

I’m not a gadget kind of guy. I have a cell phone that gives me 1000 minutes of talk time every year for $100. I ended last year with 993 minutes left. But I’ve always had this fantasy of going to a yard sale, seeing something interesting and then being able to whip out my phone right there and check eBay for the value. I imagine myself finding extra copies of the US Constitution and previously undiscovered art by Leonard da Vinci with my internet-enable phone. So I went to the Apple Store to make my fortune.

During my first visit to the Apple Store in the middle of workday I was unable to buy an iPhone. I only had a lunch hour to spend and I ended up waiting 45 minutes just to talk to someone who could help me. There was no line, there was just no hurry on anyone’s part. I signed up with two different teeny-bopper “concierges” and eventually was helped by a young overly laid-back guy wearing a large cross around his neck named Dave.

I told Dave I wanted an iPhone but had some questions. He nodded silently. I asked about the cell phone plan, about coverage, about termination fees and other cell phone sort of questions. He couldn’t answer a single one. He kept saying, “Oh, that’s AT&T, not us.” Undaunted I went ahead and agreed to buy an iPhone anyway. He pulled out a little handheld computer that clearly wasn’t made by Apple and started tapping away, asking questions, running my credit card, and generally doing his retail thing. All was going well until he told me the phone number of the new iPhone.

“What? That area code is like 30 miles away from here. I want something local.”

“Oh, sorry, I can’t do anything about it. That’s AT&T.”

“Can the guys at the AT&T store help me? I don’t want to be charged for changing a number I just bought from you.”

Dave didn’t know. My hour was long gone. I told Dave to forget the iPhone, cancel my order and that I was going to go ask my questions at the AT&T store in the mall. When all was said and done I had wasted two hours of my lunch break (it’s good to be a manager) and walked away with no iPhone.

But I still wanted the damn thing. Several days later I went back to the same mall and straight to the AT&T store. I asked my questions and got my answers. Then I went to the Apple store and…waited again.

For a retail store that has a “Genius bar” a “concierge” service and witty ads featuring how cool and easy to use Apple products are it’s pretty stunning at how poorly they’ve learned to manage customers. During my wait time I wandered around the store and started to pay attention to what was going on around me. At the Genius Bar I watched a “genius” insult a customer’s intelligence and talk down to another customer. While walking around I saw several people come into the store, wander around for ten minutes, ask aloud how to get help and then left when they couldn’t figure it out. I watched the Concierge girls spend a lot of time chatting about high school and complaining about their parents.

The more I watched the Apple Store employees the more I realized that being overly enthusiastic about a product does not always make you the best salesperson. A few of the salespeople made snide remarks about Windows and Windows users… to customers who obviously had Windows PCs. Apple needs to realize that Apple enthusiasts do not always make for the best Apple salespeople.

I was the fifth person to walk into the store after it opened and I still ended up waiting a good 30 minutes before I was actually able to talk to someone who could help me. Again, I went through the whole answer and question process and again they gave me a phone number that was several counties away. I immediately took the phone to the AT&T store where they were able to change the number without a charge after a three minute wait.

And so I was done. Or so I thought.

Earlier this week I got not one but TWO AT&T bills. I opened each up and looked them over. One bill had the phone number of my new iPhone. One bill had… a phone number I had never heard of. I called AT&T and they confirmed that it was opened at an A&T store… on my first visit.

It turns out that Dave the laid back christian Apple Store employee had not canceled my order. Instead he had rung it through, giving me a phone number but no phone. AT&T tried to cancel the number but she said they couldn’t because “Apple stores lock their numbers and don’t allow anyone but them to close an account they opened.”

So someone from AT&T had to speak with the manager of the Apple Store and the manager had to close the extra AT&T phone number. Several hours later AT&T called me back and told me they had done this and the matter was resolved.

Apple isn’t a bad company, the Apple Stores aren’t a bad idea and Dave is probably not a bad person. But Apples Stores are just like any other retail establishment: they’re mall stores staffed by teenagers and retail store workers who really don’t care about anything other than the girl in the tight sweater who works at The Gap or the cute guy who makes pizza at the Sbarro.

I’m rather impressed with the iPhone but I won’t be going back to the Apple Store anytime soon.