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	<title>Spilling Coffee &#187; Humor</title>
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	<link>http://www.spillingcoffee.com</link>
	<description>by Tom Coffee: Daddy Blogger.  Humorist.</description>
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		<title>My Four-Year-Old Is Ready For College</title>
		<link>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2011/05/13/4-year-old-ready-for-college/</link>
		<comments>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2011/05/13/4-year-old-ready-for-college/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 13 May 2011 09:34:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tom Coffee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daddy Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.spillingcoffee.com/?p=435</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Pardon me for boasting a little bit here, but my four-year-old son Eddie is clearly ready for college. He has proven to his mother and me that he does not need the basic foundations of kindergarten, the monotony of grade school or the drama of high school. I think my pre-k son is just about ready to fit in with the college crowd and take his place among the slackers, the burn-outs and the party animals who will inevitably become the leaders of tomorrow. Here&#8217;s why: &#160; All His Friends Are Obsessed With Partying: Whether we&#8217;re watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Handy Manny, about every third episode revolves around going to a party, finding something for a party, getting ready for a party or preventing something bad from happening at a party. His school friends are just as obsessed.  He has about 20 kids in his class and he has two teachers who are desperate for activities. Lincoln&#8217;s Birthday? Have a party! We&#8217;ll make top hats! Arbor Day? Have a party! We&#8217;ll plant seeds in paper cups! Nicholas Garbachio&#8217;s 5th birthday? We&#8217;ll have a party! The school parties always seem to involve cupcakes, though my son never brings home any [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2011/05/13/4-year-old-ready-for-college/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>A Short Conversation With My 8-Month-Old Daughter</title>
		<link>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2011/04/11/a-short-conversation-with-my-8-month-old-daughter/</link>
		<comments>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2011/04/11/a-short-conversation-with-my-8-month-old-daughter/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Apr 2011 09:57:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tom Coffee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daddy Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.spillingcoffee.com/?p=364</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My 8-month old daughter is already turning out to be quite the talker. Tonight we had a our first real heart-to-heart conversation. &#8220;How was your day, Ellie?&#8221; &#8220;Ya ya ya ya yaaaaa! Ya ya ya yaaa yaaaa.&#8221; &#8220;Really? Then what happened?&#8221; I ask. &#8220;Dah.&#8221; &#8220;And?&#8221; &#8220;Doh doh doh doh. Yaaaaaaa. Doooooh,&#8221; she told me. &#8220;See, that&#8217;s interesting because I was thinking the state of Canadian politics in the past decade of economic upheaval has proven that the inherent friction between the political parties and the regional differences of the nation-state can be overcome by forward thinking men and women who are willing to put the good of their country ahead of their own personal convictions.&#8221; &#8220;Yaya,&#8221; she replies. &#8220;Exactly!&#8221; &#8220;Doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh. Doh doh. Doh. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.&#8221; &#8220;Well, what did you do?&#8221; I ask incredulously. &#8220;Doh doh. Yah.&#8221; &#8220;Oh well in that case&#8230; dadadadadadadada! Dohdohdoh ya ya ye eeeeeeeeee!&#8221; Through giggles she responds, &#8220;Doooooh. Doooooh. Yayayayayaya!&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;m glad we had this talk. I hope we do it again soon.&#8221;]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2011/04/11/a-short-conversation-with-my-8-month-old-daughter/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Things You Should Never Say To Your Wife When She Tells You She’s Pregnant</title>
		<link>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2011/04/06/things-you-should-never-say-to-your-wife-when-she-tells-you-she%e2%80%99s-pregnant/</link>
		<comments>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2011/04/06/things-you-should-never-say-to-your-wife-when-she-tells-you-she%e2%80%99s-pregnant/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Apr 2011 16:19:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tom Coffee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daddy Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.spillingcoffee.com/?p=350</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Yesterday Playground Dad put up an amusing post called 10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Wife When She&#8217;s Pregnant and asked if he&#8217;d forgotten any&#8230; I thought of a few more&#8230; You probably shouldn&#8217;t do this, either&#8230;&#160; 1. Again? 2. Well, that explains the moodiness&#8230;. 3. I guess shouldn&#8217;t have put off that vasectomy. 4. That&#8217;s it, I&#8217;m swearing off Tequila. 5. Huh. 6. Now we&#8217;ll need to draw straws to see who sleeps in the garage. 7. Good, we need another mouth to feed. 8. Now I&#8217;ll NEVER get to play Xbox in peace. 9. Woo hoo! Tax deduction! 10. That&#8217;s really going to increase my child support payments, isn&#8217;t it? 11. Oops. 12. That&#8217;s it, I&#8217;m swearing off rubbing alcohol. 13. Congratulations! When are you going to tell the father? 14. I knew I shouldn&#8217;t have bought condoms from that high school kid. 15. Can we finally name this one &#8220;Anakin&#8221;? Fortunately, I don&#8217;t have to worry about this right now. I hope&#8230; Image: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2011/04/06/things-you-should-never-say-to-your-wife-when-she-tells-you-she%e2%80%99s-pregnant/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>My Four-Year-Old is a Trend-Setting Fashion Genius</title>
		<link>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2011/04/05/my-four-year-old-trend-setting-fashion-genius/</link>
		<comments>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2011/04/05/my-four-year-old-trend-setting-fashion-genius/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 Apr 2011 10:28:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tom Coffee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daddy Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.spillingcoffee.com/?p=336</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I didn&#8217;t think I&#8217;d have to write about this for at least another 12 years, but my 4-year-old has not only discovered girls but also taken a keen interest in what&#8217;s cool to wear and what&#8217;s not cool to wear in his Pre-Kindergarten class. Not surprisingly, the two are not mutually exclusive. My four-year-old is setting trends and breaking hearts. It began a few weeks ago when Eddie refused to take off his coat as I dropped him off at school one morning. It wasn&#8217;t particular cold in the building and normally getting a coat on the little guy was a chore. He repeated this for the rest of the week. For the first few days I didn&#8217;t think much of this, figuring that maybe he wanted to take his coat off by himself or he had developed some sort of system for how he wanted it hung up. Finally, on a particular warm day, I asked him about it. &#8220;Cause Samantha wants me to keep my coat on.&#8221; &#8220;Samantha? You mean your friend with the long dark hair?&#8221; He nodded. I prodded. &#8220;Why does Samantha want you to keep your coat on?&#8221; &#8220;Because. She&#8217;s my girlfriend.&#8221; It&#8217;s at this [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How A Second Child Is Different from the First Child</title>
		<link>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/08/28/on-having-a-second-child/</link>
		<comments>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/08/28/on-having-a-second-child/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Aug 2010 12:06:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tom Coffee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daddy Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.spillingcoffee.com/?p=290</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It has been about six weeks since my wife and I welcomed our beautiful little daughter into the world and so far the dire predictions from friends and family about wanting to sell off my kids to the circus have not come true. My four-year-old son is taking his little sister in stride and his little sister is excelling at everything except, of course, sleeping for more than three hours at a time. The nine months leading up to our daughter&#8217;s birth was filled with prophecies of doom and gloom about the hardships of adding a second child to our family. We were told in no uncertain terms that having two children was &#8220;like having three children&#8221;, that everything would be 1,000 times more difficult and that we would, essentially, cease to be human beings and instead be reduced to simple beasts of burden who served the needs and wants of our children like automatons. But instead of being weighed down with grief and despair my wife and I have actually been enjoying the whole process of having a newborn in the house much more than we did the first time around. We&#8217;re more experienced, more laid back and a [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/08/28/on-having-a-second-child/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Do Double Stuf Oreos Really Have Double The Stuff?</title>
		<link>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/08/23/do-double-stuf-oreos-really-have-double-the-stuff/</link>
		<comments>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/08/23/do-double-stuf-oreos-really-have-double-the-stuff/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Aug 2010 10:10:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tom Coffee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wasting Time]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.spillingcoffee.com/?p=277</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here at Spilling Coffee we like to tackle the controversial, complex questions that have plagued mankind for years. In the past we&#8217;ve answered such compelling questions such as &#8220;What the Heck Is Grain Berry?&#8221; and &#8220;How To Wash Your Keyboard in the Dishwasher&#8220;. Today, we&#8217;re taking on our most important topic yet: Do Double Stuff Oreo cookies really contain double the stuff? The question posed itself when two packages of Oreo cookies materialized in our kitchen pantry. We don&#8217;t usually have cookies like Oreos around the house very often because when we do they seem to magically disappear from the package just as magically as they appeared in the first place. After testing a Double Stuff Oreo for freshness I simply couldn&#8217;t help falling into Old Fogey Mode and began ranting aloud, &#8220;Back in my day Double Stuff Oreos had 3 times the cream! No, 4 times the cream, of regular Oreos! The filling was like a sugar-filled pillow and they were three cubits high! Damn kids today and their shorty Double Stuff Oreos&#8230;.&#8221; It was at this point that my wife decided to test the regular Oreos for freshness. As I observed the two open packages of cookies I [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/08/23/do-double-stuf-oreos-really-have-double-the-stuff/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>What the Heck is Grain Berry?</title>
		<link>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/08/13/what-is-grain-berry/</link>
		<comments>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/08/13/what-is-grain-berry/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 13 Aug 2010 10:24:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tom Coffee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.spillingcoffee.com/?p=262</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So maybe you&#8217;ve been hearing about this new &#8220;Grain Berry&#8221; food additive and wondering, &#8220;What the heck is a grain berry?&#8221; The relatively new term &#8220;Grain Berry&#8221; refers to a new brand of cereals, mixes and crackers being put out by a company called Silver Palate Kitchens, Inc. On 10/16/2008 Silver Palate Kitchens, Inc. filed to trademark the term &#8220;GRAIN BERRY&#8221; as a food staple that is generally in the same category as coffee, sugar, flour, breads, salt and other spices. The trademark was registered on 9/22/2009 and It is essentially a type of natural bran that is said to contain more dietary fiber and antioxidants than most other berries or grains. The health claims around grain berry suggest that it&#8217;s &#8220;healthier&#8221; than all those other antioxidant diet fads such as acai berry anything and pomegranate juice. To be fair, Silver Palate Kitchens, Inc. actually hasn&#8217;t made any such health claims, but the general buzz around &#8220;grain berry&#8221; has repeatedly pointed out the antioxidant levels. The advertising for Grain Berry foods read &#8220;Now-Grain with the Antioxidant Power of Berries!&#8221; which is meant to lead you into thinking that this is some sort of miracle food which combines the &#8220;good&#8221; parts [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/08/13/what-is-grain-berry/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The 9 Month Wait &#8211; The Case For Not Finding Out the Gender of A Baby</title>
		<link>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/07/11/the-9-month-waitthe-case-for-not-finding-out-the-gender-of-a-baby/</link>
		<comments>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/07/11/the-9-month-waitthe-case-for-not-finding-out-the-gender-of-a-baby/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:58:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tom Coffee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daddy Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.spillingcoffee.com/?p=240</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Our nine month wait is almost over. In just a few more days my wife and I, along with our son, will be meeting the new addition to our family. We don&#8217;t know if our baby will be a nervous one or a calm one, if our baby will enjoy being bounced on a knee or held tightly or if our baby will like mushed sweet potatoes or peas. Among the many things we don&#8217;t know about our new baby is the gender. There&#8217;s a surprise in my diaper. Guess what it is&#8230; My wife and I didn&#8217;t find out the gender of our last child, either. And while it drove our friends and families absolutely crazy and even sparked betting pools (90% said girl, the 10% minority won with the opposite guess) my wife and I remained resolute: we didn&#8217;t want to know until our baby could actually be held in our arms. The people who &#8220;had&#8221; to know cited all the usual reasons and we shot down every argument: Decorating The Nursery This was one of the easier things to do. By avoiding the usual pitfalls of buying everything in pink or blue we were able to put [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Sunny and Hot with a Chance of Armageddon</title>
		<link>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/07/06/sunny-with-a-chance-of-armgeddon/</link>
		<comments>http://www.spillingcoffee.com/2010/07/06/sunny-with-a-chance-of-armgeddon/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 Jul 2010 10:00:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tom Coffee</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.spillingcoffee.com/?p=232</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When you hear the phrase &#8220;The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration&#8217;s (NOAA) National Weather Service (NWS)&#8221; you have probably already stopped reading or fallen asleep before you even get to the first joke. In case you aren&#8217;t familiar with them, the good pocket-protector-wearing people at weather branch of the NOAA are responsible for some of the most accurate, most up-to-date and most mind-numbingly boring weather reports you&#8217;ll ever read. I know most weather reports aren&#8217;t exactly spine-tingling fare, but the NOAA perfected the art of being succinct back when Twitter sounded like the name of some character in a Disney cartoon. Here&#8217;s the typical text for an NOAA weather forecast: Wednesday: Sunny, with a high near 95. Calm wind becoming east southeast around 5 mph. That&#8217;s it. No &#8220;brilliant sunshine&#8221; or &#8220;hot and humid&#8221; or even &#8220;very sunny.&#8221; A grand total of 86 characters. Adjectives are for the weak. Oh, and I added the italics myself. The NOAA would never try to stoop to that level. The weather people at the NOAA aren&#8217;t robots, of course. They know that most people are too lazy to read actual words about the weather, so they also use the time-honored method of posting [...]]]></description>
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